It only took me a lifetime to learn. But the lesson is as profound as it is simple. As long as we clutch to one thing – be it a stone, or rail, or weapon – our hands cannot open or reach for anything else. - Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening, September 26 – Putting Down Pain
Letting go is so very difficult for me at times. Lately I’ve been purging stuff. Things I have been holding on to because I might need it some time in the future? Perhaps you have had a similar experience. At this point my intention is to continue to cleanse and clear the physical space that surrounds me. Perhaps because at this point, it is easier than delving into my soul to see what my hands are holding onto that would be better let go.
I have been sitting with this quote from Mark Nepo for about two weeks. As I reflect, I realize that I have a strong default to holding on to ideas and thoughts, images, physical things, and sometimes even to my negative thinking. Usually I am experiencing fear and/or anxiety. The very times I suspect, my heart and my heart’s connection to all that is greater than me would instead best serve me.
For me, holding on means holding life close to my chest and with both my hands. In some way I believe that this will serve as my best support. But then, I realize I am not open to hearing Spirit’s guidance, nor am I able to sense or feel the nudge that comes from the universe – to experience the LOVE that I believe is always present for me.
Rather than letting myself simply be in the moment I hold on to old patterns such as trying with all my might to think things through. I do this even when I am clear that I have little control in life no matter my proposed strategy for dealing with any particular situation.
My life experiences have in contrary, taught me a deep truth. The only choices I have in life have to do with how I choose to respond to any given situation – no matter a joy-filled one or a sorrowful one. The best solutions I have found when I am afraid or anxious have come to me when I’ve been willing to let go of the situation with both hands. To live life frame by frame rather than to try and fast-forward to a place and time in the future where resolution has already come into my life.
It is here in a more grounded and liminal space where I feel connected to my Source and to a higher reality. It is not that I have surrendered or given up on something, or myself or someone else. Instead this numinous space in life is where I have everything I need. A space in time when I have no other expectations that to simply BE.
It is a very windy day today, and while working in my garden this afternoon it came to me as I watched what I call the helicopter seeds from the maple trees, as they were spurred on by the wind. Letting go they were flying through the air like snowflakes with abandon. They had no need to control their flight. The wind was directing them and supporting them as they eventually came to the earth. There was no tension or worry about how they met the ground and if there was soil and water to tend them into growing. They simply followed their higher truth and let go, flying and spiraling to the perfect place for them to be at this moment In nature, seeds of any type do not give up. They do not worry. They simply and perfectly are being seeds. This reminds me that one of my houseplants flowers and then drops it seeds (dry flowers) on the table that supports the pot. These small white flowers never worry about the outcome. Just like the helicopter seeds, they too are in this moment of their life, not looking forward to the future or back into the past.
I wondered if any aspect of nature held on as tightly as I do. If nature gripped this tightly, would there be grass, weeds, trees, flowers, birds, rain, snow, mountains, rocks, water; any type of life as we know it. I suspect not. So, if nature can have such faith in each moment, I have this ability too. I simply need to loosen first one hand and then the other, freeing myself to the NOW of my life. Remembering in this moment that all will be well. All matter of things will unfold in perfect order. My future will unfold just as the future of nature’s seeds unfolds. Beautifully!
Namaste